Success Starts when You “Jump!”

Jump shot 2
Image by ArSiSa7 via Flickr

Last week at “The Enchanted Business Woman’s Luncheon” I  shared a simple Leadership and Success tip, about business. “Just jump  in,” I said. “No matter where you are . . . just jump in and get started.” The journey will answer the  questions and show you the way.

As the week progressed, I penetrated some of the deeper layers of  that tip. Here is what I learned: So many of us get paralyzed in a desire for  perfection that we don’t ever jump; or if we do, we jump out as quickly as the  difficulties set in. We feel like “staying where we are” keeps us safe, but the truth is, it doesn’t. It just keeps us small.

I have been shape-shifting both my business vision and mission for  several years. I have had multiple names for it and muse that I have enough  business cards to “quilt a baby blanket.” I was sorta in it with one  foot, and I was playing it safe. I reasoned that it was because I was still  raising my last “dependent” child. And, while that was true, it was  also true that my business vision is BIG, and that scares the hell out of me.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, as  I transitioned  through the final stages  of the empty nest syndrome ” my business vision called to me, louder and  louder. I didn’t want to listen. A long story short, the pain of not listening  grew, and I eventually heeded the call and jumped more fully into “my  business game.”

By jumping in, I learned that jumping in, exactly where I was, and  not waiting until I had everything perfectly inline yielded the best insights.  It brought to my awareness insights that I needed to   competently move forward.  Insights
about:

  • Me
  • My project
  • My values and objectives
  • Those whom are a part of my vision—Clients, Colleagues and
    Strategic Partners

Jumping in also brought clarity, showed me where I ultimately wanted  to go, and the adjustments I need need to make to “get there” and achieve success.

Yes, I have hit my share of bumps along the way, and so will you,  but as long as we stay “open to the learnings,” and stay the course,
we can mine the experiences for knowledge and data.  In the words of J. Michael Derem, we can  “Fail our Way to Success.”  Walt
Disney did it!  So did Elvis, Sylvester  Stalone, and many others who became “household names.”  Those people dared to dream. They pushed
beyond their fears, and they jumped.  They  inspire us.  They have also shown us that  “jumping” and being willing to find our way as we go will ultimately  get us to our goals.

What is your Dream? What are your goals?

What say ye?  Shall we jump?

Self-Love

Self Love tattoo
Image by artnoose via Flickr

The topic of self-love is often misunderstood. Some see it as vain and selfish, and if experienced through that lens it isn’t really self-love at all. It is an ego clone that misses the heart of the concept.

Authentic self-love is about learning to love yourself unconditionally, the way a “healthy” parent loves a child. It’s about forgiveness, self-nurturing, patience and understanding. It’s about being self-supportive and reaching for your dreams. It’s about bringing your unique gifts and style into the world. And, it’s about service.

How do you do it? To borrow from an overused analogy, you put the oxygen mask on yourself first: You unlearn bad programming, typically layered in in your youth, and you learn to become the “thing” or person you want others to be.

This “learning” became evident for me when my youngest child was three years old and I reckoned with the fact that I could not teach him, or his siblings, to be something I myself wasn’t. I also learned that I could not teach them values or a way of life, I myself had not lived, and therefore did not understand on an experiential level.

With that wisdom I started my journey of self-love. My first assignment was to look in the mirror and say I love you. But I was so angry at life that I couldn’t.So, I had to start my “self-love travels” with a sideways glance in the mirror glance and an affirmation that I was “willing” to love myself. Little did I know that with that I was on my way.

Along the way I learned that:

  • I had to loosen the grip I had on old beliefs so new concepts could offer themselves up: in the form of insights, “ah ha’s,” and/or epiphanies.
  • I had to stay mentally and emotionally flexible.
  • A person desperately seeking to fill their own buckets lives through a bankrupt account and takes from others who have more in their buckets.
  •  The fuller my buckets were the more I had to give—and give, I did, in copious amounts. (Actually, the giving showed up naturally and unsolicited. I guess when your personal coffers are over-flowing you just want to share what you have with others).
  •  As I continued on my path of self-love, my confidence grew, and I experienced more peace.
  • I learned that love is a self-refilling commodity, and that the more I spent it the more I had to give.
  • I learned that to love myself is to trust myself, and the unfolding of my life.

Finally, and most importantly:

  • I found that the more I loved myself, the more I came to know myself, and the beauty of mankind in their heart of hearts.

Here’s a 2-part tip to get YOU started on YOUR journey of self-love:

  • STOP the negative self-talk!
  • Learn to talk to yourself with kindness and respect.

Most of us have been conditioned to be unnecessarily harsh on ourselves. This behavior will never bring about any good, and over time it will erode your confidence and suck you deeper into anger, resentment and despair.

Remember to:

  • Encourage yourself as you would a young child.
  • Keep your internal chats upbeat and supportive.

Through the filters of self-love you can truly find yourself, be yourself, and fill the buckets of those in your circle of influence.

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