The Enchanted Woman™ Women in Leadership, Book & Writing Coach Coach » Personal Development

Success Starts when You “Jump!”

Cyndee — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 19:03:05 +0000

: Image by ArSiSa7 via Flickr

Last week at “The Enchanted Business Woman’s Luncheon” I shared a simple Leadership and Success tip, about business. “Just jump in,” I said. “No matter where you are . . . just jump in and get started.” The journey will answer the questions and show you the way.

As the week progressed, I penetrated some of the deeper layers of that tip. Here is what I learned: So many of us get paralyzed in a desire for perfection that we don’t ever jump; or if we do, we jump out as quickly as the difficulties set in. We feel like “staying where we are” keeps us safe, but the truth is, it doesn’t. It just keeps us small.

I have been shape-shifting both my business vision and mission for several years. I have had multiple names for it and muse that I have enough business cards to “quilt a baby blanket.” I was sorta in it with one foot, and I was playing it safe. I reasoned that it was because I was still raising my last “dependent” child. And, while that was true, it was also true that my business vision is BIG, and that scares the hell out of me.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, as I transitioned through the final stages of the empty nest syndrome ” my business vision called to me, louder and louder. I didn’t want to listen. A long story short, the pain of not listening grew, and I eventually heeded the call and jumped more fully into “my business game.”

By jumping in, I learned that jumping in, exactly where I was, and not waiting until I had everything perfectly inline yielded the best insights. It brought to my awareness insights that I needed to competently move forward. Insights
about:

Me
My project
My values and objectives
Those whom are a part of my vision—Clients, Colleagues and
Strategic Partners

Jumping in also brought clarity, showed me where I ultimately wanted to go, and the adjustments I need need to make to “get there” and achieve success.

Yes, I have hit my share of bumps along the way, and so will you, but as long as we stay “open to the learnings,” and stay the course,
we can mine the experiences for knowledge and data. In the words of J. Michael Derem, we can “Fail our Way to Success.” Walt
Disney did it! So did Elvis, Sylvester Stalone, and many others who became “household names.” Those people dared to dream. They pushed
beyond their fears, and they jumped. They inspire us. They have also shown us that “jumping” and being willing to find our way as we go will ultimately get us to our goals.

What is your Dream? What are your goals?

What say ye? Shall we jump?

Self-Love

Cyndee — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 14:52:59 +0000

: Image by artnoose via Flickr

The topic of self-love is often misunderstood. Some see it as vain and selfish, and if experienced through that lens it isn’t really self-love at all. It is an ego clone that misses the heart of the concept.

Authentic self-love is about learning to love yourself unconditionally, the way a “healthy” parent loves a child. It’s about forgiveness, self-nurturing, patience and understanding. It’s about being self-supportive and reaching for your dreams. It’s about bringing your unique gifts and style into the world. And, it’s about service.

How do you do it? To borrow from an overused analogy, you put the oxygen mask on yourself first: You unlearn bad programming, typically layered in in your youth, and you learn to become the “thing” or person you want others to be.

This “learning” became evident for me when my youngest child was three years old and I reckoned with the fact that I could not teach him, or his siblings, to be something I myself wasn’t. I also learned that I could not teach them values or a way of life, I myself had not lived, and therefore did not understand on an experiential level.

With that wisdom I started my journey of self-love. My first assignment was to look in the mirror and say I love you. But I was so angry at life that I couldn’t.So, I had to start my “self-love travels” with a sideways glance in the mirror glance and an affirmation that I was “willing” to love myself. Little did I know that with that I was on my way.

Along the way I learned that:

I had to loosen the grip I had on old beliefs so new concepts could offer themselves up: in the form of insights, “ah ha’s,” and/or epiphanies.
I had to stay mentally and emotionally flexible.
A person desperately seeking to fill their own buckets lives through a bankrupt account and takes from others who have more in their buckets.
The fuller my buckets were the more I had to give—and give, I did, in copious amounts. (Actually, the giving showed up naturally and unsolicited. I guess when your personal coffers are over-flowing you just want to share what you have with others).
As I continued on my path of self-love, my confidence grew, and I experienced more peace.
I learned that love is a self-refilling commodity, and that the more I spent it the more I had to give.
I learned that to love myself is to trust myself, and the unfolding of my life.

Finally, and most importantly:

I found that the more I loved myself, the more I came to know myself, and the beauty of mankind in their heart of hearts.

Here’s a 2-part tip to get YOU started on YOUR journey of self-love:

STOP the negative self-talk!
Learn to talk to yourself with kindness and respect.

Most of us have been conditioned to be unnecessarily harsh on ourselves. This behavior will never bring about any good, and over time it will erode your confidence and suck you deeper into anger, resentment and despair.

Remember to:

Encourage yourself as you would a young child.
Keep your internal chats upbeat and supportive.

Through the filters of self-love you can truly find yourself, be yourself, and fill the buckets of those in your circle of influence.

Love–What is Love

Cyndee — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 23:30:55 +0000

: Image via Wikipedia

Love

I woke up this morning and pulled myself close to my husband: I didn’t feel like getting up and I wanted to snuggle in. As I lay there, my thinking mind did its morning stretch and started to run its series of checks and balances. Fortunately, it was asking some pretty cool questions. I didn’t take much heed, at first, until I asked me: “What is love.” My usual answers didn’t pacify and I asked myself again: W-h-a-t is love?

Understanding that, “square-up-with-me” tone, I knew I was asking for a considered response. Upon quiet reflection I answered: Love is a feeling of complete acceptance. Love is compassion. Love is found in the moments when you look at another and see them beyond any judgment and appreciate them for who they are, as they are, in that moment. Love is found in those moments when another person makes your heart smile. Love is found in knowing that someone else makes your life even better. Love can be found when a dog eagerly awaits their owner to finish a tantrum so he can lick away the wounds and say I love you as the person you are under the fear that drove those behaviors.

And then I asked. . . How much do I love myself?

How ‘bout you: What are your thoughts about love?

Welcome to The Enchanted Woman Blog

Cyndee — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 00:33:09 +0000

: Image by alicepopkorn via Flickr

Welcome to The Enchanted Woman™ a blog designed to help shortcut your Personal and Professional Success. This blog is for people that Live or desire to Live Life with Vision, Intention and Purpose. I will be blogging about subjects in the areas of Business, Business Development, Personal Development, Leadership, Sustainable Success, and Spirituality—because you can’t take the you out of anything you do. Because it is my goal to encourage and empower readers to Live, Lead and Work with Heart and Purpose everything will be delivered through the lens of Authentic Empowerment™.

You might be curious about the name: The Enchanted Woman™ so let me shed a little light on that.

I suppose at the core, I chose that name because it’s not traditional, and I’m not very traditional . . . Well, I’m not completely untraditional. I mean, I love to research, I love raw data, and I love facts, stats, logic and unfolding the mystery of life in an empirical way. But I also realize that “traditional” usually means a heavy left brain/logical slant that holds little to no room for Imagination, Creativity and Fun. I’m not saying that left brain intelligence and logic aren’t important. They are. It is that side of the brain that allows us to figure out patterns, formulas, and chart a course for our own success. But I am saying that intelligence and logic are lifeless without Imagination and Creativity, and boring if you can’t Enjoy the journey.

So, anyway . . . I tried names like: A Woman’s Way, Self-Defined, Strategic Woman, Empowered and On Purpose . . . But none of those opened the door wide-enough to convey the message that everyone of us has the tools to create a Meaningful, Fulfilling Life; filled with plenty of Enjoyment, Delight and Fun. The concept of Enchantment also leaves room for The Enchanted Formula™—created no doubt by my left brain, which is: Imagination + Intelligence & good old fashioned, Follow-Through create the Magic of Sustainable Success. And lastly, it embraces a return to Self and Authenticity.

The Enchanted Journey is not necessarily easy. Each of us has undergone the socialization process, whereby we are conditioned by the influences and good opinions of others. But, as Alice discovered: the journey belongs to each of us, individually, and we must make our way back through the weight of our programming, retaining the lessons learned and re-connecting with our own hearts desires, if we are to live The Enchanted Life™.

So, while at first glance being an Enchanted Woman might sound inviting, glamorous and even easy, but the truth is: an Enchanted Woman is a person of character, courage, and vision, she has a 9-lives attitude and unwavering determination to “Go the Distance,” she is resourceful, she lives with heart and purpose, she is authentic, loving, and true to her own life vision . . . to live such a life requires work and commitment. It is not a finite goal. It’s a way of life.

Are you up for the journey?